James Potter and the Case of Sneaky Slytherins
by pleiades007
Summary: James is being sneaky. Waayy sneakier than his younger brother, Albus. Semi-stream-of-consciousness because that's how I picture the brain of this James working. Fluff. AS/S. JKR has all the rights, unfortunately.


**Title:** James Potter and the Case of the Sneaky Brother  
**Author:**  
**Fandom/Pairing:** Harry Potter; Albus Severus/Scorpius  
**Rating:**  
**Word Count:**  
**Disclaimer:** JK has all the rights. I'm just playing.  
**Prompts:** Person: James Potter, Emotion: Joy  
**Summary:** James Potter, detective extraordinaire, is being sneaky. Waayy sneakier than his little Slytherin brother.  
**A/N:** It's meant to read semi-stream-of-consciousness, because that's how I view the brain of _this_ James working.

He had spent every moment of his free time during his fourth year at Hogwarts preparing for this moment, readying himself for the opportunity to discover the truth. All of those months spent absorbing the adventures of Nancy Drew and studying her sleuthing technique would not be put to waste. James Potter, son of famed Harry Potter, admired Chaser for Gryffindor's quidditch team and detective extraordinaire, was in the zone; he was being sneaky. This summer would unveil his largest success so far.

Through years of tirelessly honing his skills, James Potter has acquired valuable, informative tidbits concerning his kin. For example, he knows his youngest sibling, Lily Potter, although she openly insults the group, is absolutely infatuated with the lead singer from Longbottom Rawk. (Interestingly enough, the lead singer in question, Jason Wriggles, has publicly declared himself violently in love with Hogwarts Herbology Professor Longbottom. Lily's best friend, Zachariah Snell, also happens to swing for the same team. James has therefore concluded that Lily was born with a genetic defect that turns her most adored male figures gay, and, consequently, he avoids his sister as much as possible, to prevent any sexuality-morphing-adoration on his part. James has begged his little brother, Albus, to do the same, but, seeing as Albus and Lily are almost inseparable, has failed miserably. He has come to the conclusion that it is only a matter of time that his brother is converted.)

James recently caught his Aunt Hermione, who has more than once chastised her daughter Rose for reading senseless novels of young damsels in distress being saved by wizards on speedy broomsticks and whatnot, leaned over a pot of boiling water on the stove so thoroughly engrossed in The Dragonfire Passion of Baroness Esmerelda, she did not even notice that her hair was submerged a length of at least six inches under the pasta water. (His mother was overly curious when he opted only for salad and potatoes that night, neglecting his favorite fettuccini entre. On her ninth inquiry as to his reasoning, Aunt Hermione finally interceded by engaging Mrs. Potter in the current gossip concerning the latest winter of With Weekly's Most Charming Smile.)

James also discovered that his parents, Harry and Ginny Potter, love to bicker back and forth about their connection with the Malfoy family, and love even more the following reconciliation. Every day of every Chudley Cannons match is carried out with Mr. Malfoy dining at the Potters' for breakfast and leaving afterward with Mr. Potter to watch the game in the Ministry Box. Every evening of every Chudley Cannons game is then carried out by Mrs. Potter throwing alarming fits, often including projected cooking ware and house cats, aimed at her husband for taking _Draco Malfoy_ instead of _his own sons_. However, every time Scorpius Malfoy visits the Potter residence, he leaves an impression of only respect and good upbringing on the Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and James' father would force Mrs. Potter to acknowledge how fortunate they were to have a close friendship with the Malfoys.

James Potter was extremely proud of the information to which his extreme detective skills granted him access, but he was still unsatisfied, and as it turned out, his brother, Albus, proved to be the cause of his deep distress. He held no interest in the secrets of his cousins Rose, whose aspirations to top every academic record at Hogwarts were as transparent as Veritaserum, or Hugo, who was so annoying James became nauseated just by spying on the young boy. No, none of these shallow creatures interested the notorious James Potter.

See, James Potter, detective extraordinaire, was smart than the average mandrake (and considerably less ugly). He knew that Slytherins were accredited to be … sneaky. And if there is one thing James hates more than anything else in this world, it is being outsneaked. His younger, seemingly decent and innocent Slytherin brother was therefore hiding something. And James took advantage of the past school year to develop the perfect plan to discover the deepest, darkest secrets of Albus Severus Potter, secrets so scandalous he was likely to be awarded an Order of Merlin (2nd Class, at least!) for the unveiling of such a troubled young boy (Albus, of course, not James, thank you) who would clearly turn out to be a danger to himself and the ones in his company… sooner or later. There was something special about Albus. Something begging to be discovered. Something unique that James could not match. This of course did not bother the older boy as much as not knowing the secret bothered him, and James had decided he would figure it out.

888

Scorpius arrived through the floo right on time, as usual. Albus all but jumped up from the game he and his family members had been playing when the familiar swoosh sounded in the hallway. James and Lily looked at each other and rolled their eyes, in turn causing their parents to smile. James listened to the boys clamor up the stairs.

"I, uh," he started, "I'll go help Al with Scorp's stuff," he told his parents.

"Scorpius will only be here for a week, James," his mother pointed out, but the boy was already off.

He crept up the stairway, careful to avoid every creaking step. He stopped and looked fondly at his feet. How much effort he put into memorizing this staircase! He had spent months walking up and down, varying paces and foot placement as went along. Lily must have laughed at him for hours at a time, just watching her older brother repeatedly master the staircase. He didn't mind, though. She would understand his reasons when he uncovered the truth about her other brother. James signed. He truly an amazing detective.

Just then the clomp-clomp of rushing feet startled James out of his reverie. He frowned at his younger brother. "Unpacked already?" Albus gave him a questioning look, but didn't bother to ask. The two of them rushed into the family room to spend time with the rest of the Potters. James followed, sulking because of his lost opportunity.

"Right," he whispered to himself, "job first, admiration of my amazingness second."

888

Four days had passed and James had suffered let-down after let-down. Each meal had passed without incident. Albus played the good little boy and smiled on cue, engaged all his family in conversations with his best friend, and engaged in other annoying I'm-not-hiding-anything behaviors. It was infuriating! James had taken to snapping photos of his brother at completely random moments. He had a collection of pictures piled on his desk now, but not a single one revealed his brother up to anything suspicious. Nothing secret-y about them at all.

No matter, though. He still had three days until Scorpius departed. And he was going to use those three days to his greatest advantage. It was now one o'clock in the morning, and James was sitting cross-legged under his comforter, lit wand in his mouth, studying the blue prints of his house. He was already aware that Albus's room was directly beside his. James didn't know, however, that the air vents ran directly between their rooms. This could aid greatly to his cause, as listening to his brother's conversations would be so simple using the vents. Across the hall, he could hear his father's booming snores piercing the silence, barring the hearing of any other noise. He snorted. Obviously midnight eavesdropping was out of the question.

That was unfortunate, as Uncle George had just sent him a large package of U-No-Poo and Extendable Ears. The first item was on James's request (they would come in handy next year when getting even with unsuspecting Slytherins. Muaha!), but the second he had not asked for at all. They would come in handy, though, if he could convince his father to place a silencing charm around his bedroom at night. James was sure Albus and Scorpius were plotting, at this very moment, something nasty and evil and no doubt extraordinarily clever. Those sneaky Slytherins!

And then it hit him. Oh, it was so genius! Of course, he didn't think about it right away because the concept was mainly muggle, but that did not deteriorate the value of his plan. If nothing else, implementing muggle techniques made the plan even more superb! Suddenly filled with inspiration, James darted out of his room to the linen closet. He stuffed every crack between his father's door and the hallway with towel and continued to do the same with his door. The silencing effect would not be perfect, of course, but it would certainly help. Already James noticed a large difference of a couple decibels. Excited to continue on with his plan, James tore open the package from his uncle and threaded the extendable ear as far down the air vent as the device would allow. He heard the familiar voices of his brother and the Malfoy. James closed his eyes and smiled. Sweet success.

888

The Potters (plus one Malfoy) had a very awkward breakfast that morning. Albus, Lily, and Scorpius seemed to hold perfectly normal conversations at the table. Lily gibbered on about how excited she was for the annual summer music festival, although she complained about how Longbottom Rawk would be closing (James didn't fall for this; he knew she was enthralled at a possible encore from the band). Mr. and Mrs. Potter commented when needed. Albus and Scorpius talked back and forth, every now and then including Lily or one of the adults. James, however, just glared. He was glaring as soon as he sat down at the table, and he continued to glare throughout the meal.

He spent the entire night doing detective work, listening to the two boys chit chat. When they finally fell asleep, James read and reread the handwritten copy of their conversation he had created while they gabbed. He analyzed every sentence, every word. He knew he would be able to crack their speech code, if only he had enough time.

When the table was cleared, James resumed his paparazzi charade. When his wizard camera broke, (James was sure that the pictures it was providing were faulty, for there was absolutely no hint of suspicious behavior in any of the photographs, and he therefore threw it against the wall. The broken device then landed on the cat, who did not enjoy being woken up so harshly and decided to exact her revenge by biting at James's feet for the rest of the day), he went to the local market and purchased a few disposable muggle cameras. After the mechanics of weird tools such as flash and zoom were taken care of, James was finally back on track.

He took to following the boys everywhere they went. When Scorpius suggested walking about the block, James tagged along, claiming that he'd have to start training again for the upcoming Quidditch season, and that walking was a great introduction to a heavy work out. When Albus wanted to show Scorpius the muggle television Mr. Potter recently purchased, James had to follow along so he could properly explain the difference between muggle motion pictures and wizard photographs. When Lily wanted the boys to take her shopping, James, much to his own chagrin, demanded that he be invited, as well.

The benefits of such rigorous sleuthing? None. Absolutely nothing. He followed the boys like a shadow for the remaining three days of Scorpius's visit. He was there when Albus and Scorpius departed (even managing to sneak in one more photograph). Very near defeat, he chose not to follow his brother upstairs. James was coming close to admitting there was absolutely nothing sneaky to be discovered concerning Albus Potter. And then, when he decided to sleep off his depression with a daytime nap, James Potter, detective extraordinaire, witnessed a most surprising event.

Albus was standing in James's room. The younger boy's face was concentrated in a not-quite-frown as he sifted through the pile of photographs James had been accumulating over the past seven days. When Albus came across a picture he obviously liked, the look on his face floored James. His younger brother was smiling the largest, most sincere smile James had ever seen in his life. This was ridiculous! Why was Albus standing in his room, smiling idiotically at the evidence he, James, had worked so hard to obtain?

James backtracked through the house and walked loudly back up the stairs to his bedroom door to announce his presence. When he reached his room, Albus had left. He went straight to the pile of evidence his younger brother had been manhandling, in hopes of discovering what had amused Al so greatly. The wizard photograph that topped the pile off showed Albus and Scorpius on the couch of the living room. Scorpius was doodling randomly on the other boy's arm with his finger. He was staring at Albus, whose head was relaxed against the back of the furniture, with such a focused intensity, James was amazed Al's head hadn't blown off. He looked at the photographed version of his little brother and saw the little wrinkles around his eyes and the upturned corners of his mouth. There was even a blush to Albus's cheeks. Albus looked… happy. No, more than that. He looked elated. There was a sense of pure serenity and joy surrounding this little Albus Potter, and James was determined to discover the source of his brother's extreme happiness.

He sat down on his bed, magnifying glass to his eye, and clutched at the picture. He studied every square millimeter of the paper and did not come up with anything. It was only when he had woken from an uncomfortable nap, (next time he would remember to remove the magnifying glass from his eye), that he saw the two clasped hands between the boys on the couch. James's mouth dropped open. It seemed his little brother did have a secret after all.

lj-cut text="Catharsis of the Lamb"


End file.
